Mine, Yours, Ours

Coming together to live as one sounds like a great love story, right? Well this is actually the tale of two roommates coming together to peacefully live under one roof.  You will encounter people from all walks of life and varying backgrounds.  When two people come together and begin to share parts of your world with someone else, conflict is inevitable.  Conflict happens and it is completely natural and normal.  The question you have to ask yourself, is the conflict healthy.  How you resolve the conflict can determine the successfulness of the roommate relationship.  When dealing with conflict keep the following points in mind:

  1.  Write down your issues.  Be sure to stick to the facts removing personal feelings from interfering with what the true issues were.
  2. Involve a third party.  Ask your RA for an impartial third party to identify the issues of both parties. If things get out of      control, the third party can help keep things on track.
  3. Give and Take. Be willing to bend on issues.  You will not be able to get everything your way and your roommate will not be able to get everything their way.  Know which issues are most important to you and which issues you are willing to bend.
  4. Fight Fair. Avoid cursing, name calling, and personal attacks. Attack the issues and not the person.
  5. Be willing to apologize.  Saying I’m sorry can go a long way.  It may be the only thing that matters to the roommate and their desire to resolve the issue.

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