independence;

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Partying at college is often seen as a rite of passage, with many people assuming that you can’t have any fun at all if you aren’t into partying. While you can have lots of fun at college if partying isn’t your style, it’s also totally fine to admit that you like partying with your friends on weekends to celebrate surviving another week of classes. What’s important to note here is that you get to make your own decisions now: whether partying is or isn’t for you, whether you will drink alcohol or whether you’d rather steer clear, and how partying stacks up against your own values.

The most important key here is that you need to make these decisions before you’re pressured into going out. Knowing what you want to do ahead of time takes the stress off of you in the moment, and helps you make wise decisions instead of decisions based on alcohol or peer pressure. Sit down with yourself and take a good hard look at what you plan to do. The obvious question is whether you will or won’t drink alcohol. Try to decide ahead of time how many drinks you’ll have, because when you reach that level at the party you’ll be more likely to stop yourself. It’s very easy in the moment to say “Well, I’ll just have one more.”

Second, if you plan to go with friends, make sure you know what the plan is before people start drinking. Know who your designated driver is going to be, and make sure you know whether or not you are all planning to leave together. The last thing you want is to be running around at 3 AM looking for one of your friends. With that in mind, make sure you hold onto your phone, keys, and license. If you do happen to lose your license, do not panic! Wait until the next day and call the bar or the party host. Often people drop their licenses, and during clean-up they are piled up in a stack for the people who will call to collect them. If you’re at a bar and you paid with a credit card, make sure you close your tab before you leave. That way you will get your card back and know how much money you spent.

Regardless of what you choose, be aware of how the choices you make can affect your future. Remember the lesson about “The Internet is Forever,” and be very careful about posting pictures that show you being drunk or behaving in a way you wouldn’t want a future employer to see. While partying can certainly be a lot of fun, you do not want to regret it in the morning.

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Returning home for the summer after being away at college for an entire year can be a challenging transition. You are back in your parents’ home, but you’ve become used to making your own decisions and not having to be accountable to anyone about where you are or what you’re doing. Your parents, however, probably remember you as the high school senior who had rules and curfews, and they don’t necessarily expect that to change. Such attitudes about living at home for the summer from both sides can cause major tension, so it’s important to talk to your parents about your expectations and ask them what their expectations for you are.

Sitting down and talking with your parents about the summer is an important first step. Talk about everything, even little things you think might not matter. Ask if they expect you to have a curfew, let them know where you’re going and when you’ll be back, and if they expect you to ask permission not to attend events the rest of your family plans to attend. These are things that they most likely expected from you in high school, but that you have gotten used to ignoring in college. As a freshman, nobody checked to make sure you were in your room at 11 PM or came to find you if you didn’t go to class. Your parents are a little more likely to wonder about your whereabouts.

When you talk to your parents, keep in mind extenuating circumstances in your house. Do you rely on your parents for use of one of their cars, meaning you can’t always just leave or go somewhere when you want? Do you have much younger siblings that might result in your parents wanting you not to watch that R-rated movie in the living room? Simple things you might have forgotten about make a big difference, especially in households with younger children who have to keep some semblance of order even though you’re on vacation.

Whatever decisions you and your parents come to, remember that the summer after your freshman year is just a summer. It can be a lot of fun to get to hang out with your family and spend time with them, and this is a unique opportunity to spend time with your parents as more of an adult than a child. You can get to know them more as individuals instead of just your parents. The reverse, of course, is that too much togetherness can have you yearning for the freedom of college again. If you decide you hate it this year, then you can make other plans for next summer. No matter what, make the most of this summer and the experiences you can enjoy.

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It is a new year and a new semester.  It is around this time of year when resolutions are brewing and there is an openness to change.  What better time to introduce yourself to something new that you have not tried at the university.  Last semester is done and in the books. This semester think about all of the things that you did not get a chance to explore, try, or do on your campus. College is the perfect time to go and explore things free or very low costs.  Commit yourself to trying two new things this semester.  Go visit a play in the theater, go to a sporting event, or participate in an intramural activity.  Join a club, already in one? Take on a leadership role.  Take a class that peaks your interest as an elective, volunteer in the local community, or look for a part-time position on campus. Think about Greek life, take a fitness class, or start a community garden.  Join an honorary society, have lunch on campus somewhere you have not dined, or get to know you RA.  There are many ways to get involved and to try new things.

Take the first few weeks of the New Year and decide how you want to map out your semester/quarter.  While mapping out your plans, be sure to create a list of short term and long term goals.  Your short term goals should include something you will accomplish in 4-8 weeks and your long term goals should be accomplished within 8-16 weeks.  Make your goals varied in focus, interest, and difficulty.  Academic, personal, and achievement should all be included.  Perhaps your short term goal is to join an organization and your long term goal may be to join the executive board for next year.  These are obtainable goals and will allow you to push yourself into new roles you may not have considered.

Take in the New Year and try something new.  Each semester you should push yourself out of your comfort zone to try something new.  If you don’t like it you can always try something new and hopefully be able to share your experience with someone else.  Ready, set, go…create at least two goals of trying something new this semester/quarter.

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As you enter the home stretch of the first semester, you may feel a little out of touch with your faith.  Your campus will offer a host of options for you to stay in touch for your faith.  If you do not have a faith based, the campus will offer a plethora of options for you to explore.  If you are looking for a more formal faith interaction, your campus may host a weekly church service.  There may also be a local church that offers special services to the students on your campus.  Some services may include a shuttle service, dinners, and scholarship opportunities.  If you would like to engage in less formal services explore the student organizations that your campus has to offer.  Both of the options provide you the opportunity to continue to develop your faith and stay spiritually connected.  Attend meetings and campus events to become more familiar with the values and beliefs of the organization.  If your campus does not offer the organization that aligns with your spiritual beliefs, you have the option to create your own organization.  Find others with like beliefs and create an organization that will help to get you on target.  Creating your own organization is definitely a way you can leave your mark on campus.

Are you afraid to explore faith alone? Take a friend along with you.  Ask around your residence hall, perhaps with a classmate, or coworkers.  Although branching and exploring religion can be scary, once you arrive you will be welcomed by others excited to share more about their faith with you.  As you continue to visit and grow within your faith you will find people with like interests and mindsets.

At this time in the semester, you may be experiencing increased levels of stress as finals are approaching.  Some of your peers will turn to substance abuse, some will opt to sleep, others will exercise, and some will give up.  As you approach this stressful season of your life, developing and strengthening your faith can aid you in staying calm and peaceful during this time.  While your peers venture to find unhealthy ways to manage their stress, you will be able to guide them and offer support to them.

Regardless of where you are on your spiritual journey, your campus will offer you a ways to stay connected and ways you can continue to grow.  Explore the options that are available to you on campus or in the neighborhood. Being away at school does not mean you have to step away or lose who you are spiritually; embrace the resources available to you while at school.

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The time is drawing near and it is time to finalize roommate requests for the upcoming year.  Choosing a roommate wisely will help you avoid a lot of unnecessary frustration and drama throughout the school year.  There are several things to consider when selecting a roommate: are you friends, are you in the same major, and did you accurately complete your resident profile sheet. 

Rooming with your high school best friend seems like the perfect scenario.  You both know each other, you enjoy the same things, and you are already friends.  Ideally this would be the prefect criteria when selecting a roommate, however this is not the criteria you want to use to use when assessing roommate options.  It has been proven time and time again, that friends make the worst roommates.  As a student affairs professional and mediator in a multitude of roommate disagreements, friends often present the worst fights. Roommates that were friends first, know what makes each other tick and use that to their advantage.  The roommate fights are often personal and have nothing to do with typical roommate issues of using personal items, temperature control, and quiet hours.  These issues are usually tied to issues that stem from incidents experienced before rooming together. Another common reason conflicts arise among friends, can be connected to one of the friends making new friends and spending less time with the roommate.  Going to college, provides students the chance to branch out and meet new people.  This is a good when both friends are on the same page.  However if one friends does not want to share their friend with new people problems feelings will be hurt and problems will arise.  Lastly, college is a time for self-exploration. This poses a problem if one of the roommates begins to grow, change, and have new interests that do not include their roommate.  As you age, people grow apart and develop new interest.  When this separation begins to happen, friction occurs and then there is conflict.  Rooming with friends seems like the best scenario, but it often does not yield the best results. 

The second factor to consider: is this person in my major.  Again, this sounds like a good idea in theory.  You have someone that has the same career goals, you will be in the same classes, have similar schedules, and have someone to relate to what you are going through.  The downside of living with someone in your major is that they are in the same classes and you do have similar schedules which means you are with this person all day long. After a long day in class, you are then living with that person.  Being with the same person all day, does not give you a break and allow you time to yourself.  You will have a better chance of growing your relationship with someone you do not spend the entire day with.

The last factor to consider when selecting a roommate is did YOU accurately and honestly complete the resident profile sheet in your application packet. A large number of students will have their parents complete the application packet.  In doing so, the parents will answer the questions based on their knowledge of who they think you are and their knowledge may not be close to the reality of who you really are.  The questionnaire is really seeking truthful information about who you are, what your habits are, and what you enjoy.  The will help pair you with the person based on their truthful responses.  So if you smoke cigarettes and your parents are unaware you could be placed in a room with someone that is allergic to smoke.  This could and probably will cause issues for you and your roommate when they discover you bring the smell of smoke every time you enter the room.

Pairing roommates together is not easy, and the easy option is not always the best option.  You want to ensure that you enter into each situation with an open mind and mutual respect.  You will be exposed to people from different backgrounds and lifestyles.  Give the person a chance, find things you can do together, and try things they enjoy (and show them things you love).  It is great to get a roommate that is diverse and can share what happens in their family, in their major, and during their extracurricular activities. Having a roommate to share new experiences with will help make the transition to college more educational and exciting to all involved. 

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Summer is officially in full swing.  It is now time to soak up some sun and save up some funds.  Summer is a great time to work as much as you can and also save as much as you can for the upcoming semester.  There apart are two challenges of the summer job; finding the job and passing up social opportunities. 

May is the best time to search for a summer job as, it provides more than enough time for the interview, drug screening, and your transition back home. Don’t fret, because it is June!  There are still plenty of opportunities out there. You are going to have to look a little harder, be more creative and be more aggressive.  A job will not just fall into your lap.  Approach every avenue you can and look for possible opportunities.  The best positions during the summer are those that are related to your major and career path and seasonal positions designed especially for the summer.

Choosing a position within your major or career path will allow you the opportunity to get hands on experience and learn the day-to-day operations of the position.  Having an opportunity like this will require you to reach out to a number of offices and sell yourself.  Positions like this may not be posted, may be found through word of mouth, or they may need to be created.  You may also have to volunteer.  Ideally you want to get paid for the work that you complete; however sometimes gaining the experience is far more valuable than earning a check.  Also look at your credit requirements, as you may be able to use the experience towards class or internship credit. 

Seasonal summer positions are always great for students, because they are designed just for the summer and students need work just for the summer. Look at local YMCAs for day camp programs, explore the local ice cream parlor, and even look at local kid hangouts.  Working at a camp is a great options as there are a variety of camps; including religious, sports, academic, and special interest.  Research and see what is offered in your area, local parks and recreation centers, and colleges.

Once you start working, you should approach each pay check as an opportunity to save for the upcoming year.  Each semester you will need money for books, food, and other responsibilities.  Learning to save now and live on a strict budget will teach you discipline and will help you later in life.  If the item or venture is not a necessity and you can live without it, you should consider forgoing it.  Starting the semester with as much money as possible should be your goal each semester.  You want to ensure you have all of your needs met throughout the semester and not have to scramble each month to pay your cell phone bill.  Some students are able to work during the summer and winter break so they do not have to work during the semester. Others have to pay their way through school or contribute to the rising costs of tuition.  Working during the summer with an end goal in mind will help you stay on track.  Write out a list of goals, so you know what you are aiming for and what you will need to do to achieve the financial goal.  If you don’t already have one, be sure you open a savings account to help you stay focused and not spend. 

Summer is a great time to relax and enjoy not having classes, papers, and assignments. It is also a good time to work and prepare for the year ahead.  Taking a few days to yourself at the end of the semester is suggested.  It allows you an opportunity to regroup and have some down time.  After a few days, you should implement your plan and start preparing for what is in-store next. If you work hard now you will have the opportunity to play hard later. 

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School is out and the first few days at home are great! Your parents are happy to have you home and you are enjoying taking a break from classes.  As the weeks go on, the patience of you and your parents will be challenged.  It is important to understand where the both of you stand on certain topics and mutually agree on house rules. 

As a student that finished your freshman year, you have to keep in mind that a little under a year ago you were still at home and not the independent person you are today.  Your parents have to also understand that you have been on your own for almost a year.  You may have some new thoughts and new habits they may not be accustom to or agree with.

When going home, be sure you understand and respect the rules in your parent’s house.  You will want to verify certain things like curfew, dinner expectations, cleanliness, and having guest visit. Be sure you ask questions on these topics before you engage in the activities that will cause stress and strain on you and your parent’s relationship.

It is also good to communicate what you have on your agenda. Do you plan to work during the summer? Are you going to go and visit friends? Will you take classes? Do you want to travel? These are all things you have to ask yourself and communicate clearly with your parents.  Being home is exciting and gives you the opportunity to see family and friends from high school. Be sure you are spreading your time evenly among all those that will want your attention. Give time to younger siblings, pets, and grandparents.  Look for moments to bring old and new friends together at the same time.  Spend time with just your parents and let them reconnect with you. 

Finding balance is the most important part of transitioning home for the summer. Communicating your goals for the summer and learning the goals of everyone else will help you to develop a plan and schedule to accomplish everything on your list.  Remember that some of the things that you were able to do while on campus, you will not be able to do while at home.  You have to respect the rules in place and not challenge the authority of your parents.  Three months of summer will go by fast and will be a short sacrifice for the peace that will be achieved by respecting your parent’s wishes and communicating with them.  School is out for the summer, now go on and enjoy.