roommate

View More

Leave a comment

Roommates: Whether you’re approaching your freshman or sophomore year, it’s time to think about roommates. What are your deal breakers and what have you learned? Here’s some advice on how to have a positive roommate experience:

The key to a successful relationship with your roommate is communication.

  • No one can read your mind, so communicate your wants and needs. Even if you think it is obvious that you would like all the lights to be off when you fall asleep, you can’t assume that your roommate knows that. Before you move in together or when you first meet, ask about his or her study habits, sleeping habits, whether they consider themselves a neat freak, etc. This way you understand how to be a respectful roommate. Passive aggressive hints are counterproductive so be open and honest about your pet peeves and deal breakers.
  • Some communication tips: use “I feel” so that statements do not come across as attacks or accusations. Also, stay away from definitive words such as “always” and “never.” For example, “you never take out the trash, its rude,” is an accusation. Whereas, “I feel like I take out the trash a lot, can you grab it this time?” is a more respectful request.

It’s all about compromise.

  • It is impossible for two people to completely agree on everything, especially when you’re stuck together in what seems to be a 2 by 2 cement box. Maybe you need to use your headphones instead of blaring music out loud. Maybe you need to kindly ask your roommate to talk on the phone in the longue while you are trying to sleep. Equal negations are key.

Have realistic expectation.

  • Let’s face it: even if your roommate is the perfect match, you may get on each other’s nerves. It is important to accept this fact or else things may snowball. If you are feeling frustrated about something, try to approach the issue and stay resolution focused. Some people may expect to be best friends with their roommate and that may not always happen. Regardless of whether you end up as BFFs or not, it is important to be a courteous living partner.

It takes effort

  • Living harmoniously with someone takes effort. Even married couples in the honeymoon stage struggle with it. We are all creatures of habit so be conscious of your habits and how they may affect a living partner. Communicate, compromise and have realistic expectations! Read chapter 3 of The Freshman Survival Guide for expert advise on navigating the roommate journey.

Leave a comment

As you are nearing the midway point of your semester, take a minute and think about your relationship with your roommate. Do you love your roommate, you get along great and you have no issues? Or, like so many students, are you struggling with conflict with your roommate but aren’t sure what your options are? This is the time to truly think about how you feel, especially as you make decisions about roommates for next semester or next year, depending on your university. Don’t feel obligated to stay with someone if it isn’t working for you, and don’t feel like it’s too late for you to get a roommate if you’ve lived alone this semester.

If you lived alone this semester and you’d like a roommate for next year, talk to your RA or landlord. Sometimes just having a conversation can help them keep you in mind the next time someone is looking for an apartment, or your RA can pass on to the housing office that you would like a roommate. Many times throughout the year, residents move in and out of their rooms, and so it’s very likely that you would get a roommate if you remove the “live alone” option.

If you have a roommate now but it’s not working out for you, take stock of the situation. Why are you having these issues? If they are simple issues like they’re eating all your food, constantly having people over, or they aren’t sharing the responsibilities of cleaning equally, then first try talking to your roommate frankly. Explain to them how their behavior affects you, and you just might find that is enough to solve the problem. A lot of times, your roommate is not even aware that you are upset and they can be totally blindsided when you want to move on to another roommate. After you have talked to your roommate, if the situation does not improve that is the time to involve your RA. Don’t let this wait until the end of the year and during finals week start talking about how much you hate your roommate, go to your RA now and explain the situation. They can facilitate a meeting between you and your roommate that might help mediate the situation, and they can involve their supervisor if room changes need to happen.

The important thing to remember with roommates is that this is a learning experience, for you and for them. Depending on the set-up in your residential hall, you could be sharing a room and/or a bathroom with multiple people who all come from different backgrounds and have different viewpoints, and this can create conflict. The key to good roommate relations is communication. Don’t ignore problems as they arise, take the time to talk about them. Along with that, do not shut your roommate out if they come to you to complain about one of your behaviors. Take their complaint seriously and try to make sure your behavior is not creating a hostile environment. College roommates can either be cordial or friends for life, but there is no reason you should have to live in a battleground. Respect and communication will help make your roommate experience a positive one instead of a horror story.

Leave a comment

Midterms of the Spring semester have begun or will begin soon.  This is a clear indication that the school year is coming to a close.  Now is the perfect time to start considering your living arrangements for next year. There are a number of things to consider.

  1. What is your current living arrangement?
  2. Are you living on campus, do you have a roommate? Are you and your roommate aware of your plans for next year?
  3. What are the terms of your lease?
  4. What are your expenses?

These are all questions you need to ask yourself as you prepare for next year. The earlier you start the smoother your transition into your new space will be. Be sure to discuss plans with your roommate and your parents.  Keep everyone in the loop to avoid hurt feelings and disappointment.

If you are currently living on campus chances are you will need to prepare to move out of your current space. Most campuses do not allow you to occupy your current room even if that will be your room next year.  If this is the case you will need to determine what you will do with your belongings over the summer (if you do return) or how you will transport belongings to your new space (if moving into a different room or off campus).  Things to consider include looking into a local storage facility, looking for boxes, and who will actually help you move the items. Consider the following as on campus housing options:

  1. If possible stay in your current hall and room space.  Serve as source of information for new residents.
  2. Look into special sophomore housing options, that will offer a special focus, programming, and opportunities specifically tailored towards the sophomore student.
  3. Upper-class housing will allow you to still enjoy on campus amenities without the typical freshman issues and incidents that occur.
  4. Themed living allows you to live, eat and breathe your major or special interest. Schools now offer housing options that are tailored towards student’s lifestyles and majors.  There are concentrations on healthy lifestyles, biology majors, social justice, and much, much more. See if and what your school has to offer.
  5. Suite-style living.  Perhaps you are over the community bathroom scene, try a suite where you still enjoy the benefits of living on campus, but you have your own bathroom.
  6. Consider being a staff member or student leaders. Becoming a Resident Advisor or being elected to the Residence Hall Association may offer housing perks. Explore other leadership options on your campus.
  7. What will the fees be for your space? Some universities offer discounted rates or will freeze your current rate if you return the next year. Ask about early housing registration discounts.
  8. Explore off-campus, but campus affiliated housing as an option where you get a little more independence, but still have the security of knowing the university is there if needed. Consider campus owned/affiliated apartments, Greek Life housing, etc.

If you are looking to move into an apartment, consider the following:

  1. Can you afford to live alone or will you need a roommate? What will your expenses be (consider food, electric, gas, cable, internet, water/sewage, and any other expenses) and what will source of income be (parents, job, financial aid, or other sources)?
  2. Are you responsible for paying rent for the entire apartment or will you have an individual lease?  This is helpful to know if your roommate does not pay their share of the rent, you will not be held responsible and face possible eviction.  Communities that cater to student housing will have individual leases available.
  3. Do you need a cosigner? Who would be willing to serve in that capacity?
  4. What is the length of your lease? Is it a full year or long enough to cover the academic year?
  5. Is the apartment furnished? What items will you need in your new home?
  6. Do you have to pay for parking at the apartment complex?
  7. How much is a commuter parking pass on campus?
  8. How far is the complex from the university?
  9. How is the neighborhood in the daytime and at night?
  10. What time of community support does the property offer (are there community events, staff availability, security, etc.)

No matter which option you choose, now is the time to start looking at your housing options for next year. You want to start early so you get the best deals and the best selection.  Choosing a place to live is not an easy task and should not be taken lightly.  Mistakes in this area could cost you a year of misery or unwanted fees for breaking your lease.  Looking for housing can be exciting, so sit back explore all of your options and have fun.